A few months later I broke up with my first boyfriend, and Liam and I were spending more and more time together. We ' d been close friends for so long, but those feelings started to evolve into something deeper. After a few weeks of testing the waters, we decided to give dating a try. Even though dating a friend ' s ex was not abnormal given the size of my high school, looking back now, I can definitively say it ' s never a good idea. Emma and Liam developed a cordial relationship, but there was just too much history, and dating Liam created a huge divide between Emma and me.
Is Your Friend Dating Your Ex? 3 Ways To Handle Yourself With Grace And Style
The fight between Emma and I was a slow burn rather than an all-out brawl. The tension and anger started when I began spending more time with Liam. He lived close to me, so he would come over to my house many days after school. I was always nervous about telling Emma I was with him, which led to a lot of white lies and attempted cover-ups. The truth always came out, and my inability to be honest with Emma was the first crack in the foundation of our relationship.
When I was unable to be honest with her, she felt that she couldn ' t come to me, either. Eventually, neither of us were willing to say what we really felt, which led to more problems down the line. Emma felt she had no choice but to say she was okay with it or risk making me angry and losing my friendship all together.
Young and dumb as I was, however, I took her at her word and happily felt that I followed all the necessary steps to have an Emma-approved relationship with Liam.
But after Liam and I started dating, Emma became distant. Because I thought I ' d done everything right, I became indignant and angry about her treatment of me. If she didn ' t want me to date him she should have just said so, right?
Dating Your Friend's Ex - AskMen
I had no comprehension of the difficult position I put her in, and I didn ' t even try to be understanding about the fact that she felt I chose Liam over her. Our mutual anger and resentment towards each other led us to start talking less and less, until we eventually just stopped talking at all. I had Liam, and I convinced myself that I was happy enough with that, but Emma had no one, and the isolated position I put her in upsets me to this day.
After months of barely speaking to each other except when we were forced to, Emma and I were suddenly able to repair things.
Wait - Is It Ever Acceptable To Date Your Friend's Ex?
I missed my best friend. I missed our talks and our inside jokes and our sleepovers filled with laughter. I wrote her a long note about all our memories and how much I missed her, and both of us were able to put our anger and resentment aside and continue our friendship.
She got as on board as she could with Liam and my relationship, and I tried not to rub it in her face. But here ' s the real kicker: Liam and I eventually went through a very messy breakup and stopped talking or communicating all together. But every once in a while, the universe speaks to a person and lets him know that, although it seems wrong at first, there might be a bigger reason your friend dated this person in the first place — maybe it was to connect the two of you, instead. Such a situation, of course, can be tricky, and must be handled with care. Two men talking on a walk iStock.
Woman apologizing after an argument iStock. Friends making a toast iStock. Beginning the discussion with your friend might be scary, at first. However, how you ask will make all the difference. According to Fabrega, once you decide to proceed in getting closer to this person, try following these tips when having the conversation with your friend:.